


like ourselves, again

by Silverine



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Matt Holt-centric, Rain, Shatt Sunday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 13:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14717123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverine/pseuds/Silverine
Summary: Matt and Shiro are pairing for a quick mission but a sudden, toxic rain will have them stuck for a while inside an empty Galra outpost. And of course Matt is nervous... who wouldn't be, trapped like this with his old crush and a bunch of things to confess?ForShatt Sunday, prompt "Getting caught in the rain", set somewhere after Season 5.





	like ourselves, again

**Author's Note:**

> This is another fic for Shatt Sunday. I really liked the rain prompt, but even though I'm sure it'd be nice to use it in a modern setting AU, I decided to take it to canon universe and somehow roll with it. Hope you like it!

Matt is nervous. Sure, he’s always nervous while he’s on a mission, but this time in particular he can notice how his hands subtly tremble while hacking the door of the Galra outpost they’re going to disable.

“Everything ok?” mutters Shiro, behind him, making him flinch almost imperceptibly.

“Yeah, just one more tick aaaaand… we’re in,” Matt answers, as the door slides up and no alarm is triggered.

“Great job,” says the paladin, casually patting his partner’s shoulder as he leaps a trench surrounding the entrance and enters the dark corridor in front of them. Matt finds his feet nailed to the ground for at least three seconds before commanding them to move forward and follow his friend.

They are disabling a triangle of Galra communication outposts in the surface of a small planet, three structures surrounded by a tall and dense foliage of ugly, washed-out colors. Not the prettiest place the Universe has to offer, but that’s not what has Matt’s nerves on the edge.

For this mission, the buildings show no signs of living guards, but they are protected by advanced tech security, so he pitched in to help Team Voltron hack them. Since it should be easy, they decided to divide the group in pairs: Pidge is pairing with Allura, Hunk with Lance and he is paired with Shiro. His old friend softly smiled while announcing the line-up and he could feel a faint blush rising to his cheeks.

One would think that after a few years in space, fighting an evil galactic empire, a man like him would’ve toughen up enough to resist his old crush smiles, but… nope. The Garrison kid dazzled by his talented friend and superior officer was still there, alive and kicking inside his grown-up body. The fact that Shiro seemed to have gotten shockingly more handsome than before didn’t help at all, even if that gorgeous face was now permanently veiled by a nostalgic, pained air, proper of soldiers who have seen violence and cruelty worth for an entire lifetime. Even so, his patience and kindness were still the same, just like the butterflies in Matt’s stomach every time they crossed glances. But they didn’t have many chances for that, both occupied with their respective activities in the middle of an intergalactic war, so of course Matt is nervous. This is the first time in years they’ll be alone, even if it’s in the context of a mission, while kicking Galra sentries’ asses.

Following the leader through corridors, disabling alarms and opening doors for him, they reach the control room. They know they’ll find sentries in there, but Matt has already entered the mainframe and disabled distress calls in and out with success, at least until the system reboots. Shiro steps into the room and takes the enemies by surprise, dispatching them one by one with his brutal but beautiful moves. Matt can’t help but to watch open mouthed how Shiro’s Galra arm destroys sentry after sentry, until he looks back at him and shouts:

“Matt, behind you!”

The rebel receives a heavy blow on the side of his face and barely dodges the shots that come from behind. Apparently, the walls hide more enemies than predicted, and Matt feels the hot burning of the strike in his face and a shot scratching his leg. Quickly disengaging his staff, he pierces the closest sentry right in the middle of its chest, while Shiro runs to cover him from the shots that fly around the room.

“Guys, careful! The walls of the control room are hiding more sentries, try to hack the protocol from outside to block them!” says Matt on his comm, trying to ignore the burning pain in his leg, watching the way Shiro violently trashes the last robots. Panting a bit, the paladin approaches the rebel, who is limping to the console, their goal.

“Are you hurt? Where?” asks Shiro, checking his body, but Matt dismisses him with a wink, while concentrating on his task. The entire system shutdown, emergency lights turning on.

“Matt…” insists Shiro, but the eldest Holt is talking on his comm again.

“How are you doing, guys? We’re done here,” he announces.

“We’re done here too. Thanks for the warning, we sealed the walls just before entering,” replies Pidge.

“All clear here. Easy peasy, on our way back already,” answers Lance.

“Alright, let’s head back to the Castle. We’ll leave the rest of the work to the rebels, then, to claim these towers later,” says Allura.

“Yup, Princess, leave it to us… ungh.”

Matt’s leg is shaking and he grunts, trying to walk to the exit.

“What’s wrong?” asks Pidge, worried.

“Nothing, just a scratch. I was distracted and a sentry tried to be too clever with me,” Matt answers, but Shiro is frowning and crouching by his side, to check the damage.

“C’mon Matt, pull yourself together if you want us to invite you again,” mocks him Lance, but then he says “…Uh-oh.”

“What now?” asks Pidge.

“It’s raining,” answers Lance.

“Okay? So what?”

“No, like… _it’s raining_ , guys. Holy shit!”

Matt and Shiro look at each other confused. The paladin takes one of Matt’s arms and puts it over his shoulders to help him walk.

“N-no need, Shiro, I’m ok,” says Matt shyly, while the rest of the team are still discussing the sudden rain.

“Why? We calculated the conditions before coming…” is mumbling Pidge, but then Coran’s voice interrupts her.

“PALADINS! And Mr. Holt. Don’t leave the stations! This rain is dangerous. It seems like the towers held some influence in the atmosphere, turning them off may have produced an unexpected front in the area…”

“For how long? Can’t we just, like… run to the Lions?” asks Hunk.

“Not unless you want to end up fried! Or even worse… bald,” answers Coran, and a common moan is heard on the line.

Matt and Shiro were about to leave the room, but now turned to the windows. The abundant jungle-like foliage from outside is being _crushed_ by thick drops of yellowish water that are also making the ceiling faintly rumble, muffled by the dense protections the Galra installed. Nasty vapors raise from the soil too.

“The composition of this rain is very toxic and corrosive. That makes the air toxic as well, once outside don’t you dare take off your helmets,” Coran is still talking, but Lance groans.

“Whyyy, I wanted to go back quickly! This planet sucks.”

“We didn’t even bring cards to play or something,” says Hunk, bored.

“Well, I bet you can think of something to entertain yourselves, young _men_. Just wait for a varga or two, at most!” scolds them Coran.

“C’mon crybabies, you’re surrounded by fallen sentries, you know what to do!” says Pidge, enthusiastic.

“Please don’t,” begs Allura, probably to no avail.

Shiro smiles at their chatter, but then turns off his voice channel, taking off his helmet.

“Does it hurt too bad?” he asks, sitting Matt on the dark metallic panel in front of the biggest window. Matt feels like a maiden being carried around, taking off his own helmet too, trying to ignore his raging pulse going crazy.

“Nah, don’t worry. It’s just a scratch, for real,” he reassures Shiro, but the paladin is looking at his cheek. His helmet protected him but the strike left a red stain just above his old scar. The scar that held a lot of meaning to both of them…

Matt feels suddenly tense. Shiro’s eyes on him are too sad, as if he’s not there, but in a distant time and place. He feels compelled to bring him back, grabbing his hand and talking in a soft voice.

“It doesn’t hurt. None of them,” he says, checking if that’s what worries his friend. Shiro looks into his eyes now, snapping out of his trance, and his fingers twitch under Matt’s touch. He smiles and then sits by his side. They let go their hands, but Matt feels the lingering sensation in his fingertips.

This is dangerous to his frail heart. They couldn’t even manage to have one private talk since Matt’s return and now, alone in a deserted tower, unable to escape while rain pours outside, he’s starting to feel chills. Unexpectedly, maybe they are about to have the talk they owed each other since a long time ago, and he is NOT prepared.

“I see. I’m glad, then. I’m sorry for not protecting you, I was too slow,” says Shiro, in his soft voice. Matt feels a sudden lump in his throat, even though he knows Shiro is talking about today’s mission.

“D-don’t worry, it was me. I was distracted, as always,” says Matt, trying to sound natural and cheerful.

“By what?” asks Shiro, innocently.

Oh god, how could Matt say that he was distracted by _him_? Him as a whole, that raw power in that strong, perfect body… Gulping, Matt stutters:

“B-by… things. You know me, the lights, the floor, anything shiny… everything distracts me.”

To his relief, Shiro laughs heartily.

“I see you haven’t changed at all, then.” He looks at Matt smiling, and adds, “that’s good. I wouldn’t like it any other way.”

Matt opens and closes his mouth, but can’t find words to answer so he just deviates his eyes to another point of the room, presses his lips and feels his blood rising to his face. Once again, Shiro laughs.

“Now you’re blushing.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” mutters Matt, frustrated by his own weakness. But as he side-glances at Shiro, he can notice that the paladin looks absent again. Clearing his throat, Matt hurries to say:

“You haven’t changed either, Shiro. That’s good too.”

“Is it?” the paladin mumbles, the sad note on his voice somehow contagious.

It isn’t entirely true. Matt has noticed changes in him, but… the core. The core of that soft, smart, strong person in front of him is the same. The rest is just war scars, he’s sure.

“Of course! What’s with that low self-esteem? You’d think the leader of Team Voltron would be prouder of himself,” says Matt, giving him a soft punch in the arm. Shiro chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just… a lot has happened, and sometimes I wonder…”

“You wonder…?”

“I… Uhm. Bah, don’t worry. I’m just rambling,” concludes Shiro, crossing his arms and resting his back against the crystal, rain hitting it insistently and dripping down.

“No, c’mon, tell me. You know I’m good at listening,” insists Matt, shuffling while trying to rest his hurt leg on the side, involuntarily wincing in the process. Shiro watches his movements and raises his gaze slowly until he finds Matt’s face again. Extending one hand, he touches the old scar in his cheek with two fingers, barely caressing the skin and sighs.

“Sometimes I wonder if I could have done better, so we wouldn’t have passed through… all of this.”

The rain continuously falls covering everything like a heavy mantle, its noise enveloping the room and both of them, and Matt quietly thanks it for muffling his heartbeat, that he believes could be heard otherwise.

“Shiro…” he mutters, but Shiro is shaking his head.

“But I’m still failing. Even today I couldn’t protect you. Looks like whenever you are with me, bad things happen to you.”

“What?! No! How can you say that?” Matt tries to laugh, but Shiro is dead serious. So he decides to be dead serious too.

“Hey. Do you really think like that, even though we’re both here, safe, after all that has happened?” Matt takes the hand that touched his face and squeezes it between his. “I wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for you. Y-you saved me, that time… This scar? It’s just a reminder that I owe you my life. How can you…?”

Shiro is shaking his head again and his other hand, the Galra one, is closed in a fist in front of his eyes.

“But I can’t help thinking… if I did better in the Kerberos mission, if I was a better pilot, maybe the Galra wouldn’t ha--”

“Shiro, no, stop. Listen to me.” Matt grips his palm with a bit too much force and tries to get even closer to him. “We could never have guessed that we’d be captured by the Galra. That wasn’t your fault.”

“But--” Shiro tries to interrupt, but Matt raises a hand and puts his fingers over one of his shoulders.

“No, listen to me. They captured us, but we all survived. Dad survived, I survived… and you. You took the worst part. But you’re here, right? That’s all that matters. At least to me. Stop blaming yourself!”

Shiro closes his eyes tightly, tilting his head towards the hand on his shoulder, and Matt lifts it until Shiro rests his cheek against it. The pain in his expression is heartbreaking, and the eldest Holt feels his eyes suddenly hot and watery, as well as an electric sensation, spreading from the point where they touch to the rest of his tense body.

“I’m so glad… so glad you are alive, Matthew,” mutters Shiro, his voice hoarse.

“And I’m alive thanks to you, Takashi.” Matt smiles, moving his thumb over his friend’s cheek. The first names dynamic was so simple, yet so intimate, making his heart race. “That time, in the arena… that monster would have crushed me. I was a wimp, remember? If someone should be asking for forgiveness, that’s me, you know? For being so weak. I made you risk your life, and everything that happened to you after that was only be-because--”

He can’t continue. The days and nights he spent wondering about his beloved friend, living on rumors, hating himself for being so weak and coward, even after being freed by the rebels, even when he first heard about the human champions of Voltron and the faint hope that Shiro could be one of them arose… all of that suffering is coming back in one blow that leaves him breathless.

A single tear dares to escape from one of his eyes while his lips tighten, trying to suppress any other show of emotion, wishing to prove he’s stronger, because he _is_ , after everything he’s been through, or so he thought until now.

“Matt?” Shiro takes his wrists when Matt tries to cover his face with his hands, and looks at him with wide open eyes. “Hey… hey, no… don’t cry…”

“I’m not,” says Matt, totally crying. He tries to hide it by tilting his head down, but Shiro releases his arms and lifts his face, putting his hands on his cheeks.

“You’ve always been such a bad liar,” smiles Shiro, his eyebrows trembling a little, as if he was also making an effort to stay calm. Then, with fond eyes, he adds, “that’s what I’ve always liked the most about you.”

Matt is pierced by those words and the butterflies just go bonkers. He can’t stop looking at Shiro’s face and he can confirm that, indeed, his innocent crush is still there. However, he also notices that it has been tainted by strong, wild impulses like biting those lips, undoubtedly fueled by the permanent desperation and fear of losing the man in front of him. Because they really could die at any moment, because they could lose sight of each other for years again, because both of them experienced this uncertainty by first hand, his brain decides to pass the reigns to his heart and pray, ‘cause it’s now or never. Barely breathing, Matt manages to say:

“Yeah? W-well, talking about liking. Fun fact…”

Matt struggles, swallowing hard and unwittingly dropping his eyes to Shiro’s lips, while he’s looking at him intrigued.

“F-fun fact… you were my crush when we were at the Garrison,” he finally confesses.

The cringe is strong when he realizes he has just confessed that with teary eyes, a hurt leg spread in a weird angle and a nose threatening to drip, so he proceeds to sniffle in an undignified way and wish to be buried six feet underground.   

Shiro is petrified, his hands in Matt’s face tense, and the rebel knows he messed up. Can he fix it? He confessed in past tense, maybe he can… Heat rising to his face, he tries to break free from the soft grip, but Shiro tightens it. Scared and ashamed, Matt looks at him and discovers a faint rosy tone on his cheeks and ears.

“What about now?” the paladin asks, and Matt’s mouth is dry.

“W-what?”

“Do you still like me, or…?” Shiro is making _a face_. The face he had while waiting for the Kerberos announce, and the few other times he would show real eagerness towards something. His eyes are soft and cautious, and he suddenly looks younger, while he says: “Because… fun fact… you _still_ are my crush.”

“Are you kiddin…” _‘me’_ wanted to say Matt, but he can’t because Shiro doesn’t stop to ask for permission to kiss him right there, so bold and so desperate. His brain tries to register the moment in an analytical way, to understand it first and save it forever later, but the scrape of their lips is erasing everything else and he barely manages to close his eyes. He’s only aware of the relentless rain still pouring outside and clashing against the windows, the soundtrack to a moment he didn’t even dare to dream after their meeting, while wet flesh softly opens a path to his mouth, reaching his tongue, making him let out sighs and involuntary groans while Shiro’s hands cup his head and aren’t giving him even a pause to breathe or _think_. The kiss transforms in an uninterrupted chain of different kisses, getting sloppier and hotter every time, hands roaming and searching for shoulders, necks, hair to grip…

Almost gasping for air, when Shiro finally stops enough time for him to carefully open his eyes and find the fluttering, long eyelashes of the black paladin in front of his sight, his brain reboots and the heat that’s roaming through his body stays in one place.

“I… wasn’t expecting that,” he dares to mumble, his lips sore, and Shiro looks guilty.

“I’m-- I don’t even know what’s gotten into me, I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, moving as if he intended to get away, but the rebel stops him.

“No! I mean I didn’t expect you to… like me back, after all this time. Gosh, I feel like a teenager,” says Matt, covering his face with his hands and chuckling.

There is a strange uneasiness he can’t identify mixing with the rest of his happy emotions, but he decides to ignore it, because his heart is bursting and he won’t let the moment slip through his wrecked nerves. Separating two fingers to let his right eye see, he spots Shiro’s smile, wider than any he has seen on him lately. But, still, his eyes are veiled by that permanent sadness. He puts a hand on Matt’s neck to make him rest his face on the dip of his collarbone, over his paladin armor, and sighs.

“No matter what happened, that’s the only thing I never lost sight of. The fact that I… love you,” mutters Shiro, and Matt is about to spontaneously combust. However, even if the words are like music to his ears, the tone… why is it so off? It’s as if something dark is lingering inside Shiro, and he really wishes he knew how to dispel it. But, for now, he has to make his intentions clear at least.

“Well… bet you could already tell, but the feeling is mutual, Pilot Officer Shirogane,” tries to joke Matt, surrounding Shiro’s waist with his arms and squeezing him, but he doesn’t dare to raise his head. He can feel Shiro’s chest rumble with laughter.

“Glad to know, Science Officer Holt,” the paladin answers him in a playful tone, planting a soft kiss in his head and making Matt shiver. That’s more like it… more like the Shiro he knows and loves.

It had to be the war, the traumatic experiences with the Galra, the years and the pain he has suffered and conquered like the champion he is. What else could he ask from this bright, brave man? Matt feels dumb for even questioning himself and decides he won’t delve in the matter anymore, because, hell! He was just confessed to by his first crush, in the middle of an undercover mission, caught in the rain in a distant planet outside their galaxy… that’s more romantic than any scenario he could’ve dared to imagine, and maybe he should be thinking some creative ways to get into his crush’s pants instead of wondering why his tone seems so off. Yeah… he’ll get to it.

“So… what, oh what, could we do to make time pass faster? Play never have I ever? Seven minutes? Maybe… strip poker?” asks Matt, in a purr, and he can perceive how Shiro’s body seems to tense all over.

“Too bad we don’t have cards,” he answers, again using a playful tone that makes Matt’s stomach tighten in anticipation.

“Oh no. Whatever could we do."

“I can think of a few other ideas… but for most of them you have to be at least this tall to join,” teases Shiro, extending one arm in front of them, and Matt lifts his head from his chest, sitting straight to look at him, outraged.

“Hey! I’m almost as tall as you now!”

“Not while you’re limping because of that wounded leg,” reminds him Shiro, caressing his hair.  

“Ugh, who cares?” says Matt, irritated.

“I do.” Shiro is smiling so fondly that he can’t argue anymore. Bummed, Matt crosses his arms and pouts.

“You know we won’t have many chances to be alone like this from now on, right?”

“Yeah, I know. But I have bad news,” says Shiro, pointing with his thumb behind them, “the rain has stopped.”

“What? Already? It hasn’t even been one hour!” Matt turns to look outside and sees how, indeed, the rain has come to an abrupt stop. This ridiculous, cockblocker planet…

Remembering that his sister is also in this mission, Matt searches for his comm and turns it on.

“… and I said it was a mistake already, will you let it-- hey, look who has finally joined our group chat!” says Lance’s voice.

“What have you two been doing?” asks Pidge, in a bored tone.

If she knew…

“Don’t be so insensitive, Pidge, you don’t ask couples what they’ve been doing alone in an empty Galra base for the last half hour, right Hunky?” teases Lance in a flirty voice.

“Right, honey,” answers Hunk in a pitched tone and Matt blushes, trying to follow the game without giving away the truth.

“Exactly, guys, don’t ask what you reaaally don’t want to know.” Matt feels Shiro nudging him in warning, but the rebel just dismisses him with a wink again. Everyone in the line is laughing, except for Pidge, and Matt shudders. His sister may be still young, but she knows him better than anyone… he’ll probably be cornered sooner or later to spill the beans.

“Then, team, let’s head back to the Lions. Careful on the way out, we’ll meet at the rally point as planned,” says Allura in her usual commanding voice, and the rest agree.

Matt stands up and tells Shiro about the instructions, since he hasn’t put on his helmet again, but the paladin just smiles while observing him.

“What is it?” asks Matt.

“Just wondering…” says Shiro, still smiling.

“Not this again. Wondering what?”

Shiro stands up and in front of him, straightening to all his considerable height. Matt still has to look up a bit to find his eyes, warm under the sadness veil.

“To be honest, sometimes I-- I don’t feel like myself. But, with you… it’s like I’m back to all my senses. I was just wondering how can you do that.”

Matt would really like to have an answer, but he doesn’t. This is a private confession and he probably should treat it like a symptom of post-traumatic stress or some similar issue, but… but… why does he feel so uneasy? Fear crawls across his skin for unknown reasons and he feels the sudden impulse of hugging Shiro, so he does.

“Beats me. Guess I’m your witch doctor or something,” he says, clutching the broad back of his partner, hiding his expression from him.

“Accurate. I guess you’re right,” says Shiro, also squeezing him with his strong arms, both clinging to the other as if their life depended on it for one entire, silent minute. After that, Shiro separates from Matt and puts his hands on his shoulders.

“Can I ask for one last souvenir to take home?” he asks, mischief in his features. Matt snorts.

“Do you even have to ask?” he replies, reaching his mouth one more time, and they kiss in a softer, almost nostalgic way. It’s a goodbye kiss for now, until the next time they will be able to enjoy a moment of peace by themselves. Matt is making sure to memorize the way Shiro’s lips move over his, the soft tickle of his breathing over his upper lip, the delicate way his hands caress his waist at the same time. Warm, affectionate, pure… more real than anything else they have seen and felt since they left Earth.

After that, they put on their helmets and Shiro forces him to get on his back and piggybacks him all the way to the Lion. Although he’s sure he’ll be the laughing stock of the rest of the team when they arrive to the rally point, he holds to Shiro’s armor and tries to enjoy that moment, while he feels he can understand what Shiro meant before. Carried like that, laughing and scolding the man he loves, he also feels more like his own old self. For a fleeting moment, they are just the two young officers who, long ago, were going to space together, and no evil had ever tarnished their bodies, dreams and hopes… A bittersweet illusion, indeed, but after it vanishes, at least their true feelings will remain, against all odds and over every wound they may carry.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, I really hope you liked it! If you have any request, don't hesitate to tell me be it here or via [Tumblr.](http://www.silverineontherun.tumblr.com)


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